She's the only child of her family. She
waits for the day that she can fly off to
the land of her dreams. Though deep
inside she knows that is was impossible
for her to have such dreams. Yet she
kept on dreaming, kept on hoping, and kept
holding on to that last piece of light,
that last piece of hope, and that last
piece of faith.
But as each day pass by, everything she
knows slowly changes. She is becomes someone
else without realizing it. Then one lonely
night, she came to realize that what she
have become is something she had always dreamt
of becoming but yet one thing holds her back.
And that is her tradition, her culture, and
her identity.
From a young age, she was engaged with the son
of her father's only sister. He was a young and
bright man. And she was a young and caring girl.
But they were two worlds a part, separated by
the Earth and sea. They never knew each other
well. They have only communicated through the
phone and never had even one serious conversion.
Deep inside, the girl never wanted to be
engage with the boy. Though she knows that
in the country she lives in, she can refuse the
engagement and the government would be on her
side. But what about her culture and her traditions?
Living in America, growing up as an American,
does this make her different? Does this change
who she is inside? Does this change everything
she knows about herself?
No. It doesn't. Inside herself, she knows she's
Hmong and she knows no matter what language
she may speak or what country she grows up in.
She is Hmong and she will always be Hmong.
No matter who she loves or what she does.
Nothing will change that.
Realizing that she is Hmong. She knows
that deep inside, though her parents say
they do not wish for her to marry her own cousin,
she knows that deep inside their hearts they
wish for her to do so. Because she is a girl
and she is the only child they have. If she
was to marry out of the family, there would be
no one to care for her them. She will be
taken away to the groom's family, to care and
love his family. If she was to follow
through with this engagement, she will be marrying
the son of her only aunt. And she knows that
her aunt has raised her son well, and she
knows that he will able to love and care for
her family.
Because by marrying him, she won't have to
leave the family. He will be the one leaving
his family to come to live with her in America.
But...what about him? How does he feel about
this engagement? Does his feeling differ from her?
Or is it the same? She asks herself these questions
from time to time. Only if she knew how he felt,
then she would know what to do with the engagement.
However, deep in the back of her mind, she
knows she's taking a risk. In her culture,
it is normal to marry inside the family,
as long as you don't share the same last name.
However, when it comes to divorce, it's a
different matter. No one would look at you
when you got divorce. It was always common
that if your husband divorce you, you were a
bad wife, even if he was the bad one.
But...the thought on her mind was different
from everyone else. Because she was a girl,
she had no rights to care for her family.
She was the one who will be married out of
the family. The boys were the one who were
to carry on the family name and care for
the family.
Knowing this, she knew she had to carry on
with the engagement. Because the man she
is marrying is her aunt's son, she know
that his job is to care for her parents
no matter if they are married or not. That
was her aunt's plan. She was giving her own
son to her brother, the one that loved her
the most. It was her gift to him, because his
wife couldn't give birth to a son. She, the
aunt, loved her brother and was willing to
sent her most precious son to live in America,
no matter what the hardship it will be, she
wanted him to care for her brother as his own
father. This was her plan.
The girl understand her aunt's plan,
and was willing to accept it. All
because she was a girl, there's nothing
more she can do. She can't fight against
her culture, she can't fight against her
traditions, and most importantly, she can't
fight against her identity. She is Hmong.
It is her culture that has lead her down
this path, it is her traditions that caused
her to follow through with this plan, and it
is cause she acknowledge her identify.
She is Hmong, she is a girl, and she has
to follow through with this plan, because
she loves her family, she loves her culture,
her traditions, and her people. That is what
she is.
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